I read an online article yesterday called Two Lists I Make Every Morning. One of the lists is titled "If I could live today over again I'd...", which is based on the idea that you are living this day for the second time and the choices you would make differently. I liked the idea of this. I thought about it this morning. And then everything went out the window...
First of all, my day got started around midnight. Sterling would wake up every time I tried to put him down, so I ended up pacing around with him in an attempt to keep him from waking everyone else up. We're both not sleeping through the night yet, so when I did get up for the day, it came with a headache. (There are few things worse than waking up with a headache, am I right?)
We were really starting to think that the colic-y phase was beginning to subside, but I'm pretty sure its back and its taking a toll on everyone. He's not just having episodes in the evening either. It feels like he is fussing more while he's awake than when he's not, which is can be extremely wearing on all parties involved. Unless he's being held or in his car seat (see above), he's not happy.
As a result of the tension and tiredness, it was a pajama's til noon/ TV on all morning kind of day. Heck, since I was already winning so hard, I grabbed us all McDonald's for lunch. I was even supposed to go to a funeral today, but knew I'd max myself out if I even tried taking both kids.
I got a text yesterday from a friend with a link to a daily reading from My Utmost for His Highest. I decided to read it while trying to get Sterling down for a nap this afternoon and literally had a "come to Jesus" moment. The Utmost link had since refreshed to this new day's reading, and in it featured this verse:
"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
I felt so weary in that moment. I prayed. I held on to those words. And you know what happened next? Well, Sterling cried for a few more minutes, but both he & Ruby took a crazy long afternoon nap after that. Which meant that this Mama got to get some rest too. Thank you, Jesus.
The rest of the day went on much better than it started. Sterling was still fussy this evening, but I was fortunate enough that my sister was willing to come over and shoulder the load with me. We even topped off the night with fake Dippin' Dots (have you heard of Itti Bitz??) and funny YouTube videos.
So, even though this day felt like it was shot from the start, all was not lost. If anything, it was a good reminder to surrender sooner next time. And praying friends, would you lift one up for Sterling that he comes out of this crying phase sooner rather than later? It is as hard as it is heartbreaking to see your sweet son having such a hard time for seemingly no reason. Please and thank you.